Things that should be illegal

*High fructose corn syrup

*Disposable cutlery

*DVDs for infants

*Edible products that aren't really food

*Inappropriate use of the apostrophe

*Plastic shopping bags

What have I missed?

Wimps

That's what Thomas Friedman calls his fellow Americans in a recent column entitled Real Men Tax Gas. He's spot on, folks. So read away, then write your congresspeople. Because some day I'd like to hear the New York Times columnists calling all of us something much, much nicer.

My Favorite Thing

My laundry drying rack. It looks kind of like this, but cheaper.

My main reason for using it is to save electricity, so that when the local seas are heaving beyond their bounds I can say that I did my part to stop global warming.

Bumper sticker

"I'm armed and I want my freedoms back."

So I'm curious: Which freedoms, exactly, are you missing? You appear free to drive an unreasonably large truck, carry a weapon, and announce that fact to the world.

Do you want to be free to have other people die while you are insured? Because that is criminal, and criminals deserve prison, not freedom.

Do you want to be free to blow up other countries for absolutely no reason? Well, that's not freedom. That's evil.

It sounds, frankly, like you want the freedom to choose both your actions and their consequences. And that's just ridiculous.

Might I suggest that you are only as free as your closest liberal neighbor, and I'm quite free to say that you are an idiot. So I think we're both doing just fine.

Tofu Tacos

How did tofu tacos end up on regular rotation chez me?

Step 1: Read The Omnivore's Dilemma

Step 2: Read In Defense of Food

Step 3: Read Fast Food Nation

Step 4: Announce to Husband, I'm not going to buy meat any more. I'm going to buy tofu instead.

Step 5: Reply to Husband's queries about the price of tofu. Cheaper than meat? Satisfied.

The secret? High heat, lots of seasoning.

Rotating

For those of you who need help rotating your food storage, here's my tip of the day: Wash your face with sugar. A teaspoon of sugar, a drop of hand soap, and enough water to make a paste. Exfoliate and kill bacteria at the same time.

Wow, I'm sounding more like TAMN every day.

Leo Lionni

When is the last time you read something like this in a children's book? (Read aloud for full effect):

"The sunrays reached down within the weeds and gently shifted patches of luminous color."

From "Fish is Fish".

There but for fortune go you or I

A recent New York Times column on healthcare is here. Let me know what you think.